Hello! Thank You for joining us on another Sunday Talks blogpost entry. A few months back our social post on “Forgive the Apology that Never Came” blew up with people sharing it, commenting, and just reaching out because they related to this saying. You asked for it, so here goes...
We tend to put a pause on our lives when we experience the end to a toxic friendship or relationship because we are waiting for an apology for all that they had done. However, we seldom stop to think about how that apology may never come, and for so long we have been trapped in this idea that an apology will put a full stop to the hurt experienced.
It’s taken a while to understand that apologising won’t change what happened, it won’t erase the past, it won’t heal the wounds or make everything okay again and let's be honest nine times out of ten the apology is rarely ever for the victim but to assuage the guilt of the person dishing out the pain. The apology won’t repair the damage nor would it fix your newly developed trust issues. No...
Forgiving the apology that never came is not for them, it's for you. It's not an act of weakness nor forgetting what happened, no it's about giving yourself permission to let go of the hurt you’ve been carrying around for so long. It's allowing yourself to move on. Experience growth and an overwhelming sense of happiness again.
The days, weeks and months after the end of a toxic relationship or friendship leave you filled with shame, and guilt trying to right their wrongs. These days are dark as you find yourself drowning in depression waiting, hoping and wishing for the day they call, text and email you with their apology just so they can release you from the monotony of life. However, life must go on so you pick yourself up out of bed each day and brush yourself off as if you're not shattered inside.
What you’ve failed to realise is that you’ve had the power all along. You are not broken, nor are you alone. As humanity, we all go through these painful processes and I won’t lie to you and say it's going to be easy because it's not, forgiving the apology that never came stops you from walking into an early grace, it allows you to reclaim your power by forgiving yourself and accepting that apology may never come.
Forgiving the apology that never came is the foundation of building yourself back up from the ground and practising self-love, its understanding that you did your best and that you have finally moved on. It's offering yourself the compassion that the other person failed to give you, and most importantly forgiving the apology that never came comes with the understanding that you are worthy of love and kindness.
Forgiving the apology that never came is the best gift you can give yourself that no amount of money can buy. Intrusting yourself with the insight needed to foster your own healing, that is, forgiving the apology that never came. This act of self-love empathises with the wounded inner child in all of us. There comes a time in your life where you need to be selfish in order to be selfless.
We give you comfort in saying stop waiting for an apology instead forgive the persecutor for they don't know any better. Often at times, the act of forgiveness is for you. Forgiveness is wisdom in action. Allow yourself to let go, live and love.
Forgive The Apology That Never Came.