Hi all, remember a few months back we posted “forgive the apology that never came” on our Instagram and it blew up with people sharing it, commenting, and just reaching out because they connected to it, well you asked for it and I am a pleaser so here is the full version...
We tend to get stuck in a situation or feeling because we are waiting for an apology, we are waiting for the acknowledgment of that person's wrongdoing to us that we seldom take the time to realise that we are trapping ourselves.
It’s taken a while to understand that apologising won’t change what happened, it won’t erase the past, it won’t heal the wounds or make everything okay again and let's be honest one time out of ten the apology is rarely ever for the victim but to assuage the guilt of the person dishing out the hurt.
The apology won’t repair the damage it won’t make you trust again, changed behaviour does that. having said that We still want the apology because it is the acknowledgment that something went wrong there was hurt caused.
Forgiving the apology that never came is not for them, it's not being weak and forgetting what happened, no it's about giving yourself permission to let go of the hurt you’ve been carrying around so that you can grab onto better things. whilst your carrying the hurt around you don’t give yourself permission to be happy.
There’s a shame, embarrassment, and hate in your soul whilst waiting for the apology, some days it's hard to get out of bed, you replay the event every word, every action, every mister, every regret, you take to your bed day after day sometimes week after week carrying yourself through the motions of work, cleaning, talking, eating and wondering. Wondering if today will be the day they call, text, email, or send a pigeon with their apology just so they can release you from the monotony of life.
What you’ve failed to realise is that you’ve had the power all along. You are not broken, nor are you alone we all go through these painful processes and I won’t lie to you and say it's easy to let go because it's not, forgiving the apology that never came stops you from walking into an early grace, it allows you to reclaim your power by forgiving ourselves and forgiving the apology that you’ve been waiting for.
Forgiving the apology that never came is the foundation of building yourself back up from the ground and practicing self-care, its understanding that you did your best with what you knew at the time, it's offering yourself the compassion that the other person failed to give you, and most importantly forgiving the apology that never came comes with the understanding that you are worthy of love and kindness. Forgiveness is wisdom in action.
By forgiving the apology that never came you gift yourself with the insight needed to foster your own healing, it empathises with the wounded inner child in all of us that at times can be selfish and inconsiderate, and immature. It also gives you the insight that the ones who hurt us are also carrying inside them a lot of unresolved hurt and all they can offer is what they’ve experienced and for many, it’s a whole ball of hurt.
In life not everyone is going to apologise, not everyone will acknowledge that they are in the wrong, some may even deny any wrongdoing, stop waiting for an apology, forgive the situation for your own progression for rarely is forgiveness for the other person it is for you so that you ALLOW yourself to move on.
As said by our Founder & CEO, Felicia Vundla