That unfulfilling feeling is good. It is there to show you, you aren’t in the right place anymore. Being uncomfortable is good. That means you are growing. Maybe where you are right now, you’ve excelled as much as you can and there’s no place higher than you can go. You should be proud of yourself for that.
But I need you to keep going. Don’t lose faith. Because it’s in those moments where you want to get up, and walk away, and quit, comes something rewarding. There is something on the other side of this confusion and heartbreak and pain. You just have to get there.
I want to tell you, it’s admirable how much you try for people you care about. I admire how much you invest in people and what you’re willing to give. I think it’s a really redeeming quality how you jump into things both feet first with all of your heart.
You see the best in everyone. The people others look past. The ones who are jaded and complicated. The ones you think you can fix. But it’s the people you think you can change who are the ones that hurt you the most
You’re going to meet people who mess with your mind and you’re going to analyse it thinking it’s something you’re doing wrong. They are going to be the people who answer texts three days later. The ones who appear to care like it’s something they can switch on and off. It’s going to be the people who blow up your newsfeed then ignore you. The ones who drop in and out of your life like they have a right to.
You’re going to meet a lot of people who tell you what you want to hear but have motives that are unkind. You’re going to have a lot of relationships with people but what’s going to lack is the emotional connection that just isn’t there. And that’s not something you can force.
And you’re going to keep trying and you’re going to keep caring because that’s who you are.
You don’t do casual or emotionless. Even the wrong people are going to get the best of you.
I’m going to ask you to not change that. Even when you come across people who look at you and think you’re crazy for some of the standards and some of the things you believe in.
But you have to realise you are better.
You are better than the guys who just use you for sex.
You are better than the guys who just use you emotionally.
You are better than the guys who lie to you and tell you what you want to hear making promises they’ll never keep.
You are better than the guys who can’t commit.
You are better than the texts that don’t get answered and the games they love to play.
You are better than the people who keep you waiting.
You are better than the people who leave.
I ask you not to change even when you’re hurting.
Because one day you’re going to meet someone who teaches you, you’re enough and you always have been.
Maybe I needed to lose what felt like everything at the time to realise I still had a lot. Maybe I needed to lose myself along the way to realise who I wanted to be and finally take the proper steps towards getting there. Maybe I needed to hit rock bottom both hard and fast to keep me humble and realise everything I have and had worked for could be taken in an instant. Maybe I needed to lose because I won all I could within my comfort zone and only when being forced out of it would I grow the way I needed to. Maybe I needed to lose so I could learn to unattach happiness to accomplishments, prestige, milestones, concrete things, and people and learn that the root of happiness is found within myself. Maybe I needed a lesson in patience when it felt like nothing was coming together and there my faith would be tested. Maybe I needed to lose to realise what needed to change weren’t events but rather my attitude towards negative things happening. Maybe I needed to change instead of clinging to routine so the universe forced everything else in my life to change so I would eventually take the hint. Maybe I needed that isolation and loneliness to evaluate exactly where I wanted to go from there without any distractions. Maybe I needed to lose some people along the way to realise who really would stand by me through the tough times. Maybe I needed to let go of everyone to see who really was holding on. Maybe I needed a lesson in putting myself first for once. Maybe I needed to lose love to realise there were still parts of me that needed to learn how to love myself and that couldn’t be found in even the best relationship. Maybe I needed a heartbreaking goodbye to finally take steps towards where and who I needed to be. Maybe I needed to find a relationship only to lose it to learn gratitude and appreciation for someone so good and kind. That an ending I might not like didn’t mean the story wasn’t a good one. Maybe I needed to fall apart so I could learn to put myself back together again. Maybe I needed to lose all of all of it to realise what felt like a loss was truly a gain. Maybe I needed to lose myself because only then I would be found.
A heartfelt message from our founder and CEO, Felicia Vundla on Love, Relationships, and Healing.